Bush and Cheney in Hell for 935 Lies – A Satire

“An intelligent Hell would be better than a stupid paradise.”

— Victor Hugo

Is there a hell after death? The great Dante, one of Italy’s finest sons, wrote about it in his “Divine Comedy.” In Dante’s fiery inferno, Satan, a fallen Angel, is in charge of dishing out suffering to the damned. In light of the current political situation, I am moved to once again reach for my crystal ball, to revisit hell. Let’s see… In one of the deepest Circles of Hell, I watched President George W. Bush, Jr. and V. P. Dick Cheney floating in “a vile black slush” made from an Exxon oil spill. Satan is particularly proud of this duo for telling the “935” lies that took America into the blood-stained Iraq War. [1] Members of their gang who contributed to that evil campaign of deception join them there. I see among them the convicted perjurer, Irv “Scooter” Libby. Libby (a congenital whiner), wails, over and over again: “Cheney made me do it!”

Will someone, such as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, suffer eternal damnation? Looking even deeper into my crystal ball, I see that she will! [2] There she is, in one of the middle Circles of Hell where she is blown about by violent storms “without hope of rest.” Pelosi had a chance to stop funding the Iraq War when she took office in January, 2007. However, she failed her duty miserably, abandoning the people and our brave military.

Pelosi’s windy hell experience will be shared with that equally complicit U.S. Senator from Maryland, the war-funding, camera-mugging Barbara Ann Mikulski. [3] I suspect, but I can’t prove, that Mikulski hasn’t read any bill she voted for since she’s been in the Congress! The good nuns that taught Pelosi and Mikulski, back in their Catholic grade school days, in Baltimore, Maryland, have to be in a serious funk about how their two pupils finally turned out. I’m sure the nuns now regret not giving them a good thrashing, like they use to do to me on a fairly regular basis. Somewhere along the line, the divine spark planted in Pelosi and Mikulski went out. Instead, they have become willing stooges for the Military-Industrial Complex, Hillary and Bill Clinton, the Israel Lobby and Big Oil. Not exactly in that order, but it’s close enough.

What about the cunning Neocons? This is a tough one. Somehow, I think a horrific hell, as envisioned by Dante, won’t be good enough for these slimy scum bags. I suspect that they will manipulate the process and trick others into taking their places in the blazing inferno or get themselves jobs as–Trustees–and also sneak in their cell phones! For instance, I could see William Kristol pulling a fast one on Satan. Kristol is a clever little b……. Just look, how he got that Op Ed sinecure at the New York Times. [4]

I believe, looking even harder into my crystal ball, that Satan will create a “Special Place” only for the Neocons. Perhaps it will be in the realm of an “Exile,” like that island that shows up on ABC TV’s popular “Lost” program. And, the final indignity will be that the Neocons’ “Lost” isle will be named after their phony spiritual mentor–that flaky Philosopher of Big Lies–Leo Strauss! Prominently featured on this “Lost’ enclave will be, besides William Kristol: Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, Donald Rumsfeld and Midge Decter. John Bolton, Bill Bennett, James Woolsey, Mona Charen, Elliott Abrams, Frank Gaffney and Norman Podhoretz will have key day player roles. Don’t you just hate it when a flaming nut case with a name like “Podhoretz” wants to send your kids off to die in Iran? [5]

Each person’s hell will be different. There is no Collective Punishment in Hell, like there is in Occupied Gaza. For example, a discerning movie buff, who has been damned, might be required to watch, in perpetuity, every film featuring the manic Robin Williams, Lindsay Lohan, Carmen Electra and that irritating Steve Martin.

Where, you might want to know does all of the above leave the likes of that half-demented Bill O’Reilly and the clearly certifiable Sean Hannity? The punishment in store for these two Right Wing cretins will probably go like this: O’Reilly and Hannity will be given a choice to escape from their fiery agony, in one of the hottest parts of hell, (Circle Six), by selecting one of three doors. But, no matter which door they choice, (Satan also enjoys a good laugh), standing behind that portal will always be Satan’s favorite daughter–Ann Coulter! She will be dressed in a red gown, red wig with red shoes, (all designed by Joan Rivers), and have smoke coming out of both of her ears. Since O’Reilly and Hannity always choose wrong, their suffering will increase exponentially.

Let me say this: The globalist schemers are going to feel Satan’s full wrath. They are the ones who conceived the trade policies, which have permitted the out sourcing of millions of America’s middle class jobs. [6] These grasping culprits will be located in Circle Seven of Hell; along with a coven of corrupt lobbyists, such as Jack Abramoff; and venal politicians, like ex-Rep. “Duke” Cunningham. Around the corner from them, will be found the Wire Pullers who “stole” the presidential elections of 2000 and 2004. All of their bodies will be chained to an iron fence. Then, their hands are regularly forced out by a machine and dipped into a huge pot of boiling lava. Their flesh, however, is then slowly healed; and, the awful torture repeats itself, ad infinitum. Meanwhile, they are forced to listen to a recording of every speech ever given by that egomaniacal ass–Henry Kissinger! The recording loops endlessly. The condemned plead with Satan, not to stop the scalding of their hands, but to “please turn off” the sound of Kissinger’s monotonous voice! Who can blame them?

Will there be any punishment for those, who pushed the illegal and immoral Iraq War and also chose to deliberately ignore the “935” lies concocted by the main principals? Yes, I see these warmongers in a Circle of Hell where they are forever “trapped in flaming tombs.” Faces that look familiar to me, at that site, are: Rep. Peter King (R-NY), Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman (IND-CT) and Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY). Media moguls Rupert Murdock and Mortimer Zuckerman are also found there. Oddly enough, film maker Woody Allen is entombed there, too. It seems Satan got really p….. with him for continuing to make one stinker of a movie after another, when he was long past his prime. Go figure!

To Satan’s credit, he forbids waterboarding in his domain! (Please copy, U.S. Attorney General, Michael B. Mukasey.)

Deeper still into the underground, I witness some pitiful souls wallowing on the surface of a putrid river of human waste. I am shocked to find out that these mega criminals were the same individuals, who were responsible for America’s second Pearl Harbor–9/11–a “False Flag Op!” It led directly to the Iraq War and to the emerging Police State in the U.S. It was revealed that the Bush-Cheney Gang wanted Americans to believe, suspending all of the Laws of Physics, that a structural steel-framed skyscraper, WTC-7, a 47-story office building, was leveled, in 6.5 seconds, (free fall speed), by modest-sized fires, and not by a controlled demolition. WTC-7 WAS NOT STRUCK BY ANY JET AIRPLANE! [7] All of which makes those FIVE DANCING ISRAELIS jumping for joy on 9/11, as the WTCs collapsed, even more suspicious! [8]

It is now clear that the Bush-Cheney Gang’s position on how 9/11 happened was–DAMNABLE LIE NO. 936!

As I draw away from my crystal ball, I hear a heavenly voice shouting: “IMPEACH THOSE BUMS!”


[1]. http://www.publicintegrity.org/WarCard/Default.aspx?src
=project_home&context=overview&id=945. As of today’s date, 3,945 U.S. troops have died in the Iraq War and an estimated 1.2 million Iraqis have perished. The cost of the conflict is $492 billion.

[2]. http://baltimore.indymedia.org/newswire/display/

[3]. http://www.thepeoplesvoice.org/cgi-bin/blogs/voices.php
/2007/12/27/neocon_lite_sen_mikulski_sets_dems_cynic. Since the Democrats have taken control of Congress, 942 U.S. troops have been killed in Iraq.

[4]. http://world.mediamonitors.net/headlines/william_
kristol_neocon_never_having_to_say_you_re_sorry and

[5]. http://www.commentarymagazine.com/viewarticle.

[6]. http://www.economyincrisis.org/

[7]. http://www.wtc7.net/index.html

[8]. http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/fiveisraelis.html