Gramma and the Chickens

I occasionally run across an article or see a news report that will get under my skin to a degree that I’m tempted to enroll in Anger Management classes. I’m sure you know the kind. You see or hear something that makes you so angry that you find yourself asking, “What’s the point?” But contrary to what you may think, it’s not Bush or any of his hoodlums that drive me to this feeling of being a volcano in blue jeans. No, dear friends, the source of my most ultimate anger continues to be the Democrats! And, honestly, I’m getting really sick of it.

A few weeks ago, there was an article in the New York Times which centered on the self-induced dilemma the Democratic leaders (and I use that word very loosely) found themselves in regarding the alleged Bush “victory” in Iraq. Apparently, it would seem as though they’re all scared that they have nowhere to focus an attack during the upcoming presidential campaign against George W. As I read the article, I kept seeing and hearing various Democrats speaking like the cartoon character “Droopy Dog” lamenting, “Ohhhh, boy! Now what are we gonna do?”

You folks are joking? Right?

I swear, the Democrats have become the chickens in Gramma’s backyard. I’m sure many of you heard your grandmother tell you the story of long ago, before the convenience of large supermarkets, when she used to chase the chickens for dinner and lop off their heads with an axe. Then she would comment on how they’d run around headless for a minute or so. Anybody still living on a family farm knows what I’m talking about. As far as I know, Garrison Keillor is the only person who has been able to make this little ritual hysterically funny but -as a child – I found it a bit disturbing.

Unfortunately – as an adult – I find it a totally appropriate metaphor for the limp and spineless Democratic leadership – and I’m getting mighty fed up with feeling this way.

Good golly, even Howard Dean is toning things down a bit! I feel like that poor duck in the AFLAC commercial after spending too much time listening to Yogi Berra. Exactly what is the problem? Why are the members of the alleged opposition party so busy twisting their undies? Are they looking around? Are they even paying attention to anything besides the polls that have been, obviously, out-Foxed?

Exactly what can’t they figure out?

What adversary, in the history of American presidential campaigns, has given the opposition more to work with? Exactly what damage to America at the hands of these criminals can they not see crystal clear? Why are these political Barney Fife’s unable to get their guns out of their holsters? The Democratic leaders are becoming as embarrassing as George W. Bush! This is completely shameful! What do they need – a road map or something? Fine, let’s help them to focus a little bit, shall we? Maybe we should start by asking them nicely to get out from under their desks and stop hiding.

Alright, you almost plucked fowl, listen up! The jury is still out as far as any “victory” in Iraq. Sure, we’re not bombing civilians anymore and most of what was left from 1991 has surrendered. The Fox’s and CNN’s were really pleased and passionate about showing everybody the “pockets of happy Iraqis” throwing flowers and whatnots. The thing is, there are even bigger crowds that didn’t have to be “flown in” demonstrating their desire that we get the hell out of their country. Sure, Bush Inc. may have “won the war” but there is no indication that we’ll “win the peace.” And if Afghanistan is any indication of Bush’s intensions or dedication to finish the mess he creates – then you folks who are supposed to be the opposing party have nothing to worry about. Besides, Bush has put over two million people out of work!

Hey, kids, here’s an idea. How about running on the “What About America?” platform? No, seriously. Think about it. Bush has promised the Iraqi people – amongst other things – universal health care, liberation, free elections, secular education, jobs, freedom of speech, religion and on and on and on. And he’s going to spend billions in order to do it. Well

What about us?? Don’t we count?

I think you Dems need to get away from Gramma for a bit and go out there and actually connect with your constituents! Oh, there’s a novel idea!

Take a look at Main Street, U.S.A. and see for yourselves the damage Bush Regime has done right here at home. Libraries are closing – four in my hometown alone. There are teachers being laid off and school programs being eliminated – thanks to the “education president” – and our roads are looking like they were hit by one of those misguided Patriot missiles. The states have no money and Bush is asking the governors to do more with less so he can give his supporters in the upper 1% yet another tax cut!

May we also ask why on earth you idiots are arguing over whether it should be a $700 billion or a $550 billion or a $350 billion package when, in fact, somebody in those chambers needs to point out that you all screwed up big time with the first tax cut package in ’01? Have any of you taken a good look around lately? Granted, you didn’t count on the fall-out from 9/11 but that’s no excuse for making an even bigger mistake in the aftermath. It’s as stupid as letting the drunk driver who ran over your kid drive him to the hospital! Oh, and speaking of 9/11.

How about you invertebrates start a platform which allows America to get back our dignity?

Let’s start by asking some serious questions about that terrible day. Let’s ask why it was so necessary to immediately investigate the circumstances leading up to the Columbia explosion last February yet – in January of 2002 – Bush and Cheney stressed to congressional leaders the importance of not looking into the circumstances of 9/11 “too deeply.” That’s right, campers, that’s what they said. In a CNN report, dated January 29, President Bush personally asked Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle Tuesday to limit the congressional investigation into the events of September 11. Bush was afraid of an independent investigation. In case any of you missed the report, you can find it here:

CNN’s report is only one of many articles which have come out over the last two years not only depicting Bush’s wish to hide what happened that day but – also – the assaults to the very principles this country was founded upon, principles quietly eroded by these people in power. And to this day, Bush refuses to give the committee investigating 9/11 the money they need to do the job properly. Good God, the “Bush approved” committee was reduced to begging for an extra three million just a month ago. Chicken feed (no pun intended) to people like Bush Inc.

So, I ask the Democratic leadership again – what are you waiting for? What is your problem? Why are you soiling your undergarments because the bombing has stopped in Iraq and Bush is claiming “victory?” You know better and so do we. Iraq is gonna be a burr in our collective butts and wallets for a long time so take a deep breath and get a grip.

Listen, you jelly spines who happen to represent the majority, try to focus – will ya? There’s no reason for you to be all whiney about the news of the last few weeks. America has an attention span of about a week or so. You have a smorgasbord of issues to go after the man who will be known as the worst president ever. History is never kind.

Americans are out of work and out of money. They have lost their life savings at the hands of Bush pals who scammed them. (These are the ones who will benefit from the tax cut.) And, to make matters worse they’re getting away with it – still. America has become roguish, paranoid and ignorant and is looked upon with suspicion and loathing by the world community. Our children are being denied decent futures while billions are being spent to prop up empty promises to the people of Iraq and Afghanistan (and who knows who else in the future). The future of Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare is questionable at best. America has become a nation of people governed through lies, fear and a perverted sense of what passes for “patriotism.”

Karl Rove is going to schedule the Republican Convention to coincide with the 9/11 anniversary memorials – in the very city that Bush has left twisting in the wind – a city Bush lied to when he blew his bull through a bullhorn two years ago. That alone should incite your ire – your passion to rescue America from these hideous people. You should be able to roll over Bush as easy as he rolled over Iraq. And you don’t even have to lie about why you’re doing it because the hard, ugly truth is on your side.

But instead, we are treated to stories of your fear – you’re running around like the chickens in Gramma’s back yard. Articles concerning your inability to find something to focus on in order to challenge the weakest excuse ever for an American president continue to appear – much to our chagrin. But I think we who support your efforts and want, more than anything, for you to succeed have a great piece of advice for helping you to rise above the perception of you being Gramma’s chickens. The absolute smartest and patriotic thing you can do. A place to start that’s easy and makes all the sense in the world.

Stop giving Gramma the flipping axe!

W. David Jenkins III is a political writer. He contributed above article to Media Monitors Network (MMN) from Upstate N.Y., USA.