A while ago our researches stumbled onto a crowd of publishers, journalists and political activists that are at the core of a constituency for repression. This constituency has a real fetish for Ariel Sharon’s brutal tactics against the Palestinians. Unfortunately, this Yiddish Supremacy is not a rare disorder. Since so many of the individuals afflicted with the disorder are in the ‘infotainment’ business, our studies indicate that it might be an occupational hazard. If you, or someone you know, suspect that you are prone to Yiddish Supremacy, do not panic. Therapy is available and many people have recovered by simply coming to terms with the tragic conditions of the Palestinian people.
In any case, we have developed a Self-Examination kit for potential Yiddish Supremacists. As a public service, we will be distributing it free and you can duplicate it and pass it around to those who you suspect of having Yiddish Supremacists leanings.
1. If you walk around calling Palestinians ‘animals’, skip the rest of this test. You have an advanced case of Yiddish Supremacy. But don’t despair, you can still get a seat in the Knesset or become a Chief Rabbi.
2. If you consider the exclusive Jewish settlements in the West Bank and Gaza to be ‘neighborhoods’, you just might be a Yiddish Supremacist.
3. If you think that Israel has a right to confiscate native Palestinian lands to house recent immigrants from Russia, consider yourself a Yiddish Supremacist.
4. If you know about Ariel Sharon’s war crimes at Qibya and Sabra and Shatila, and you help bury his record because you own the New York Times, that is a certain sign that you are a Yiddish supremacist.
5. If you constantly publish IDF press releases as CNN ‘breaking news’, you are probably a Yiddish Supremacist.
6. If you feel that Israeli collective punishment techniques are Kosher, your Yiddish Supremacy is at an advanced stage.
7. If your calculator tallies innocent Israeli victims but can’t do the math on the number of innocent Palestinian victims, you are jaded enough to be a Yiddish Supremacist.
8. If you failed to notice that there are ten Jewish Senators and not a single African-American or Hispanic-American Senator, that might be a sign of Yiddish Supremacy.
9. If you pass yourself off as a liberal progressive internationalist but think the Palestinians do not deserve liberty, you are a Yiddish supremacist with dual-identity problems. Our advice is to treat the two problems separately. Don’t mix the medication.
10. If you think it is just fine for the State Department to hire diplomats right out of the Israeli Lobby, you are probably part of the lobby. That automatically makes you a Yiddish supremacist.
11. If you went around lying about ‘Barak’s Generous Offer’, you are not just a Yiddish Supremacist. You are trying to spread the disease. Our advice is to head for the nearest political quarantine center. If you don’t have one close to home, don’t leave the house.
12. If you believe that Palestinian refugees have no right to return to their homes, but feel just fine making a claim for a Rumanian family estate that was lost to the Nazis in 1941, you just might be a Yiddish Supremacist.
13. If your job requires you to go from one talk show to another talk show to market a sanitized Ariel Sharon and prove his ‘restraint’, you are in danger of infecting your children with Yiddish Supremacy.
14. If you work at CNN or the New York Times and spend an inordinate amount of time figuring how to market Sharon’s agenda, you might have an incurable case of Yiddish Supremacy.
15. If you actually know the history of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and you think the Israelis have a contract from god to displace the native people of the Holy Land, you are a Yiddish supremacist and your mother is a Yiddish supremacist.
16. If you don’t know the history of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and you support Israel because you think ‘Jordan is the Palestinian state’, your ignorance will be a barrier to curing your Yiddish supremacy.
17. If you dodged the draft in Vietnam, but are now a hawk who wants to bomb Iraq, Libya and Syria, you are a deeply troubled Yiddish Supremacist.
18. If you approve of the tactics of the Israeli Lobby and how it corrupts the American political process, you are a Yiddish Supremacist with very Un-American values.
19. If you answered yes to any of the above questions, shrugged your shoulder and refused our advice on therapy, you might end up being a Yiddish Supremacist for life.
20. If you think that a war Criminal like Ariel Sharon should be allowed a visa to the United States, you qualify as a Yiddish Supremacist.
21. If you are a New York Times or NewsWeek reporter who takes rides on Ariel Sharon’s lap, you could be a ‘Lewinsky’ Yiddish Supremacist.
22. If you actually believe that the Israelis should intensify the brutality of their occupation, you are a Yiddish Supremacist.
23. If you think it is fine to bomb crowded refugee camps with Apache Helicopters, you just might be a Yiddish Supremacist.
24. If you think that a ‘test of faith’ is enough to kick native Palestinians off their land, you are an extreme Yiddish Supremacist.
25. If you have a world map that only shows America, Israel and your country of origin, you could be a Yiddish Supremacist.
Helpful Questions and Answers
1. Are all Jews automatically Yiddish Supremacist?
Answer: our studies reveal that many American Jews are not inclined to be supremacists of any kind. Many actively work to confront the agenda of the Yiddish supremacists. Our guess is that it is an affliction that generally afflicts the ‘community’ leaders. The record shows that virtually all major American Jewish organizations warmly embraced Ariel Sharon, without making a fuss about his war crimes. While that is very disturbing, it is not clear that the views of the leadership are widely endorsed by the majority of American Jews.
2. Are most Israelis Yiddish Supremacist?
Answer: A substantial majority have an acute case of Yiddish Supremacy. Indeed, it is part of the national character. That is why they felt no qualms about electing a blood thirsty war criminal to the highest office in the land. Most young Israelis serve in the army and are well aware of the exact nature and purpose of the occupation. They exhibit an unusual willingness to fully participate in the brutal repression of the Palestinian people. It takes an enormous amount of manpower to enforce a siege around every Palestinian town and village. Every Israeli knows exactly what their army is doing to the Palestinians.
3. What is the difference between a Yiddish Supremacist and an Islamic Supremacist?
Answer: They vary in dogma. But in terms of zeal, they are about even.
4. Do you think Yiddish Supremacy will end in our time?
Answer: Some people think it is cute to be a Yiddish Supremacist. They think it is just chutzpah. But there is nothing cute about torture, arbitrary killing, stealing native lands, dehumanizing and slandering another people. The fact that Israel’s public relations brigades at the New York Times and FOX and CNN are willing to sanitize and market this level of repression will not go unnoticed by the history books. I do think that, in 10 to 20 years, Yiddish Supremacy will be a thing for the history books.
5. Many of these Yiddish Supremacists are also card-carrying ACLU members who endorse gay rights, want to save the whales and hug the trees in public parks. How do you explain their willingness to actively participate in the repression of the Palestinian people?
Answer: Well many Nazis had a great love of nature, loved good classical music, enjoyed a fine wine, would get upset if they saw you kick your dog. It is a mystery within an enigma that allows so many of these Yiddish Supremacists to pose as civil libertarians. Intellectually, it is an untenable position. You are either for human rights or you don’t give a damn.
6. How have the Yiddish Supremacists reacted to your discovery of their ailment? And how do they react to your proposed therapy?
Answer: First, they go through denial. But I am of the opinion that they know more about themselves than I will ever know. The reason they react very negatively, is because it hits them right in the gut. It is like when someone first comes to terms with being a compulsive gambler. There is a tendency to ignore all the symptoms of their ailment and blame their troubles on the world. You get all kinds of rationalizations for their strident advocacy of every Israeli policy to pulverize the Palestinians. The list is endless “The Holocaust made me do it”, “This is the only way to deal with Arabs”, “This land is my land, his land is my land”, “God chose our people for this real estate acquisition mission”, “What would you do if you had so many Senators in your pocket”, “We paid good money for The New York Times and CNN and we can use them any way we please”, “Ariel Sharon did what? I never knew. I was in Tahiti in 1982.”. But basically it is about political power. The Israelis do whatever they can get away with. And the Yiddish Supremacists markets their agenda, regardless of the consequences for the long battered Palestinians.
7. Some people are really insulted by being called Yiddish Supremacists? Why do you need to be so straight forward about it?
Everybody walks around like the Israeli Lobby is just a ‘conspiracy theory’. But when a Senator gets called to do his chores for Israel, he knows better than to show up late for his assigned duties. This is a very very powerful group led by very insistent men with ample resources. I don’t think the problem is how I choose to label a group of people who actively sanitize a war criminal like Ariel Sharon. Neither do I think there is a problem in questioning the dogma of those who actively advocate against Palestinian liberty. The problem is not the label I put on them, the problem is the behavior that warrants the label. If they do a little self-examination, they will realize that if anyone has a right to complain about hurt feelings, it is the victims of Israeli repression. It is not enough to just stop being a Yiddish Supremacist. There has to be an accounting for aligning with a serial mass murderer like Sharon. When they stop being Yiddish Supremacist, I hope they join our efforts to identify other Yiddish supremacists and help them out with this very useful therapy kit.
If you are a Yiddish Supremacist, please do us all a favor and pass this kit around. Once you get therapy. Drop us a line and let us know how much better you feel about yourself.